Resilience
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good. ”
Resiliency is our ability to recover or bounce back from a setback to keep growing to achieve our full potential. When we practice our resilience, we become more emotionally aware, curious, and socially competent and develop a good sense of stability and healthy habits of balance, integrity, and moral strength. Being resilient, we also become flexible to changes and learn to remain calm and rational under pressure to achieve meaning, purpose, and encouragement in life. You have resilience within you, so here are some tips on how to cultivate it.
Changing your mindset to resilience
Many factors affect a person's resilience, such as individual traits and environmental characteristics, such as support systems and people. The central element of resilience is perception. Creating resilience is teaching yourself to think of suffering and trauma differently, which can be accomplished by reframing them. It is letting go that the world is conspiring against you and understanding that traumatic and tragic events happen. It is an acceptance that some circumstances are beyond our control and that we can only control ourselves and how we react to them. Finding a middle ground between external control and internal control is the point at which your resilience resides. When traumatic and tragic circumstances happen, it is natural to have a feeling of hopelessness being followed up by learning how to survive. But here is the tricky part we must not stay in the victim mentality. Getting out of the victim mindset is believing that we can continue with life by coping, focusing on solutions, examining what we can learn from the experience, and seeking support to grow. Stop assuming everything is fixed and final, and thinking about the possibilities of change develops our resilience.
Determine your resilience zone
Your resilience zone is when you are completely calm, secure, and can think clearly. When adversity happens, our brains shift into a fight, flight, or freeze mindset for survival. This means we will automatically go into a hyper-arousal zone, and our bodies begin to react by sweating, feeling weak, tense or rapid breathing, or heart beating. We start to feel unstable until we return to our stable state, the "resilience zone." To know your resilience zone, you must ask yourself, "What do I think, and how do I feel when I am completely calm and secure." There are several things you can do to stay within the resilient zone. Two simple techniques you can use in hyperarousal are breathing practice and grounding. Breathing practice is when you are feeling unstable. Take some time to breathe slowly in and out. Feel your breaths move in and out of your lungs. Continue doing this until you have returned to your calm state. The grounding technique is when you bring yourself to the present moment during an unstable time. Grounding can be done in various ways, such as touching multiple objects around you, looking around and noticing things you haven't seen before, digging your heels into the floor to ground yourself, or concentrating on an object or image and focusing on the details. Grounding allows you to stay in the present moment to feel safe and in control by focusing on the physical world rather than the internal thoughts and feelings you are having. It might feel strange or impossible to stay in the resilience zone when you're feeling a bit unstable, but with practice, you can catch yourself when you are in hyperarousal to bring yourself back down to your resilience zone.
Boundaries
Being resilient includes having healthy, stable, and consistent boundaries within yourself. When we lack limits, it causes chaos in our lives, which leaves us vulnerable, and this should not be a norm for us. Boundaries help us focus on what is acceptable for a healthy environment and exist to protect us by preventing destructive patterns before they occur, which allows us not to enable these patterns and follow through with what we need for ourselves. We may not be able to change the source of the chaos, but we can set boundaries within ourselves to stop the chaos from being destructive in our lives. Being motivated to control yourself and remembering that you are responsible for your actions and behaviors of your well-being and sanity helps you establish boundaries. These boundaries set the stage for emotions to stay more regulated, regain a sense of safety, and feel empowered to make changes to build resilience. For more on how to set boundaries click Here
Resilience is the healing system that allows you to go through the pain and determine how to recover from it to return to your healthy life. When we take recovery into our own hands, we are meeting the world on our terms by taking our power back from others and not allowing ourselves to be the victim but the hero of our own story. You might find it challenging to grow, but it is undoubtedly worthwhile, and with conscious practice, you can become better at it to become calmer, more productive, and enjoy life more.
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