Lying
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
Hello Friends,
I recently had conversations about lying and experienced that people have different interpretations of lying. One interoperation is that children only do lying; when you stop lying, you become an adult. Another variation was that lying is wrong unless necessary. I thought about both interpretations and concluded that lying doesn’t distinguish a person from a child or adult. It is a characteristic and action that either children or adults choose to do. People lie for various reasons. Even I have been guilty in the past of lying to protect myself or others, which led me to believe that lying can be good, which justifies the second interpretation. From what I have learned, lying does not help anyone, especially the liar who is left feeling doubtful and ingenuine.
Determine your moral principle:
Telling a lie speaks about your ethics, so take some time to determine your moral principle. My moral principle for telling a lie is not to do it. I choose not to conceal or be deceptive because of my integrity. I believe truth earns trust and respect from people I value the most, which matters to me. Not lying has also given me peace and freedom in my life by allowing me to speak up for my needs, wants, and truth. My moral principle wasn’t always this way. I was a liar, and I believe it was instilled in me at a young age by the role models that raised me. I needed to let go of the justifications of lying to be able to move forward with the truth. Take some time to determine your moral principle for lying, and if you decide to stick with your justifications for deception, keep in mind that others are watching you, interpreting your actions, and forming an opinion of their view of you. Ask yourself if you are embracing and demonstrating acceptance, accountability, change, and growth. Everyone creates their world; will you live in a house of lies or a place of truths? You decide.
Accountability and Acceptance:
The first step is to take accountability for the lying and accept that you do it. Getting to the reasoning for deception is the key to breaking the pattern of deceit. The best way to do this is to be more truthful. Stopping the lies does not happen overnight, so commit to being more truthful daily. Consider being honest as being assertive with what you need and letting go of shading others from your truth. It is essential not to downplay emotions or act like you do not care. When you feel like discussing your feelings, this is the best time to express yourself and let go of any guilt that comes from it.
Let go of Guilt:
Lying helps compensate for guilt under challenging situations. Even when intentions of lying seem helpful, it leads to destruction, which can ultimately affect the trust in your relationships. When people believe you are a liar, it is difficult to come back from that because the liar’s words start to mean less and less when reality doesn't match up. The key is to get comfortable with speaking the truth and understand that the truth hurts, and it does work. Think of a healthy and respectable way to express the truth and be sensitive to the other person's point of view. When the fact is shaded, it creates an altered reality for you and the other person. The relationship or conversation is based on inaccurate information and a false sense of trust; this concealment doesn’t allow you to express your true self.
Lying doesn't help long-term. If anything, it is more time-consuming to keep up with the lies. No longer allow or accept yourself to intentionally make a false statement; it speaks volumes about who you are and what you represent. I have a saying, “I would rather tell you the truth and temporarily hurt your feelings rather than tell a lie and lose your trust and respect.”.
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Many blessings, and remember, you are a miracle!